ROFL

Happy Memorial Day Weekend, All!

Happy Birthday

24 years old yesterday.

The SIMPSONS!!!

Unbelievable. 

In their honor I'm offering some wonderful Homer philosophy to live our lives by:

Operator! Give me the number for 911! I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman. Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.' You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons. Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get. [Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something. I'm having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church! Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such. I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell? Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos. I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here. Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harrassing that woman. Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use. Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream? If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English. I'm never going to be disabled. I'm sick of being so healthy. I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming. All my life I've had one dream, to achieve my many goals. But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder. That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college! If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk! 'To Start Press Any Key'. Where's the ANY key?

Holy Cow!

Or is that holy sheep?

OINK!

^..^__~
(@)___)
__w__w__




Saw this signature on a guy's profile. How fucking cute is that!?

I'm a Gleek.

LOL LOL LOL

Be sure to watch the "outtakes" as well!

A Scene Sadly Played Over and Over in Homes This Morning

Gays Now Using Santa To Entice Man Boy Love Relations

Okay, I admit. I googled "perverted gay santa" and this wonderful satire popped up.

Wow those little flesh tadpole torpedo worshipers are getting a head start this year with the demonetization of Christmas, by saturating the world with new items, cards and toys to turn your children gay. It is bad enough they want to bear hug your child while you are away at work trying to make a living and not live off of gay funded welfare like they do, they now want to make your children believe Santa is gay.

Think about it, what does Santa do? He comes into your house at night, leaves presents. Well the homo gays want kids to think it is ok for “Gay” Santa (Gay men dressed as Santa to rape your children) to sneak into your house while they are asleep and leave presents (anal raping).

Also, they know a lot of little boys line up to sit on Santa’s lap to ask him to bring them a new baseball or some other straight manly toy. Now imagine if the homo gays were allowed to line up little boys to sit on their laps while their satan scepter is at full noon? They would love it and be able to justify it saying “The kids are just telling gay Santa what they want for Gaymas!” While your child is telling gay Santa they want a football, gay Santa will reply with “No silly you want a Bravo Channel branded hand bag to match your pretty little innocent eyes!” Do you want your son walking around with a man purse filled with deadly gay items? I didn’t think so!

I found a drawing on a site I found while doing research with our youth members of what the homo gays want the new gay Santa to look like and it is quite sickening.

Click here for the full story and more perverted pics.

FLÜGGÅЭNKÔ€ČHIŒßØL∫ÊN

Always remember your safe word! And does anybody have a cymbal playing monkey they want to give me?

Thank you, Mr. Bean

A Need To Laugh

Maybe it's the very short days. Maybe it's the fact I hate Christmas. Bah. Humbug. But I've been craving good laughs these past few days. This helps.

The new Mr. Peanut: Paul Rudnick is a genius.

Click on the pic for the full article.
Read all about the peanut's affair with Mr. Clean!